I always thought that I may have made a good lawyer. I can defend almost any point if I am forced to and I like to pick apart topics and debate and beat a horse that has long passed rigor mortis; and have often not been mature enough to not argue a petty point- until recently.
If my husband or anyone for that matter says something that I strongly disagree with I have had a hard time not voicing my opinion and I like and respect when others disagree with me. I like the dialogue. I enjoy hearing other perspectives and learning from other people’s point of view and challenging what I once thought as truth.
For friends of mine who are the same way we can discuss our opposite views exhaustively and walk away appreciating one another’s differences, taking away from the conversation a different understanding of the other person. Our opinions don’t always change, but usually we find a common ground of understanding on some level.
With others, this kind of open communication may not be possible nor necessary AND I am learning that depending on the nature of the conversation, it can be argumentative to state an opinion in opposition to someone else’s. et.
I thought to myself, “why am I attempting to be understood? Why do I need to interject an opinion?” I didn’t find an answer for why, but what I did figure out is that when I say something to someone that is opposite their belief it puts me in a position of an opponent and unless a mutual trust and respect has been established, opposing someone, or putting myself in the place of an opponent in a way may make me be perceived on some level as an enemy. Can I be perceived as loving and simultaneously an enemy? Probably not.
In my journey to learn how to be more kind and loving as a way of life, I realized that stating my opinion may not always be a part of that unless it is in the right setting and manner. Nothing wrong with sharing who you are and your thoughts, but when it’s the unpopular opinion, maybe the loving thing to do is to keep it to myself unless absolutely necessary to speak up. I have and always will speak up for others, but often times, maybe love is being quiet.
Point B to myself is even if I am right about what I have to say, if it won’t be received properly for any number of reasons including delivery, than the statement could be counter productive.
Point C is sometimes I’m just flat out wrong.
So I have come to the conclusion that unless I am seriously compelled, have a strong conviction or am called to stand up, to speak up, I will sit down and shut up.
Sometimes taking the high road means sitting down.